Today has been 'one of those days' and so I'm utilizing this blog for a therapy post.
It is late, I'm tired and sleep deprived... so I'll probably feel dumb posting this later, but for right now, as I'm being kept up by a defiant two year old, it is what I'm going to do to make myself feel better.
I don't know what it was about today that made it so crummy, could have been:
-that I woke up with an upset stomach (didn't I just get the pleasure of food poisoning!)
-that both girls were cranky and not listening well
-that the hour I had to take a nap while my dough rised was ruined by one little girl who refused to go to sleep (until right before I had to get up to finish the rolls)
-that I spent ALL afternoon getting rolls ready for the bake sale that, 1. didn't turn out right and 2. I didn't get finished in time to deliver them for the bake sale (the WHOLE point!)
-that I spilled every possible thing on the floor while baking all day!
-that the girls destroyed the house while I worked all day in the kitchen
-that I was just exhausted from two consecutive late, late nights
-that I realized I had forgotten to drop off Sarah's preschool tuition that morning
-that I had to wake the girls early from their nap
-that the girls whined and fussed all the way to help dad pick up some cells from a nearby lab
-that I was late getting dinner delivered for my dinner swap group
-that the girls spilled water ALL over the car, and the dinners on the drive to deliver the meals
-that it was a battle to get Abby to eat anything
-that Abby broke a hand mirror in the bathroom
-that Ryan has to work late in the lab, so I have to miss my "book club" tonight
-that I laid in bed with Abby for an hour and a half only to have her NOT fall asleep at bed time
-or that I just wasted a hunk of dough because I took all day to get to it and it was all dried out
-or that I'm sitting on the couch when I should be cleaning up my very messy house, but have a lil' night owl next to me who just wants to snuggle...
and I feel guilty that I don't want to and just want her to go. to. bed!
Wow... that is a long list... and then I sit here and think for a minute.
I am so blessed.
Lately I have been an emotional wreck, in fact I opted to not read my "book club's" selection this month because emotionally I didn't think I could handle it (it was about the Rwanda Genocide)
I think about all of the sweet, dear people in my life who are facing so much worse than spilt water in the car in their lives. Sometimes I feel like I can't handle all of the sad things that are happening to those around me (and I'm not really affected by it directly, but I just get so sad for them). I hear stories in the news that just make me want to cry. There is so much heartache in the world, and here I am letting the small stuff get to me. *sigh*
I'll blame it on hormones, or sleep deprivation... or the lack of chocolate in the house.
I don't even know where I am going with this, or if anyone is even reading this still...
I guess the only thing that I can do is to make a list of some of the stuff I am grateful for.
-my family
-a call from my sister when I was at the peak of my stress day (the moment I realized my rolls were blah and timed poorly)
-that I have two very sweet little girls... hope they don't look back on their childhood and only remember days like today where mom is blitz and can't control her temper
-that I have music in my home, a talented husband and lil girls who love to sing all day long
-crumbs on the floor, dirty dishes in the sink (or everywhere really)... because it means we have food on the table to eat
-dear sweet friends who do so much for me
-having my mom respond to my text with a phone call... it was so nice to hear her voice after a day like today
-for this glass of egg nog... yum!
-for the sweet lil' words of a two year old, "Mommy wait! I love you. Snuggle on the couch?"
-that I still have at least four weeks until the baby comes to finish all of my crazy projects
-for a sweet note from my hubby apologizing for having to work late and not being able to help out tonight
-that I didn't have heart burn for three whole days after my bout of food poisoning...silver lining
-that the cold/cough I had a few weeks ago ended quickly and didn't turn into bronchitis
-that tomorrow is Friday and I don't have to go anywhere or do anything if I don't want to
There are so many things that I am grateful for... but my eyelids are feeling heavy and my heart is feeling lighter from unloading a little. I'd say this was a therapy post that did its magic.
Here's to tomorrow and a day that will be much, much better.
Now to convince this lil' Abby bug that she is tired too...